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My Blog

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5 YEARS AGO

Posted on January 22, 2015 at 6:14 PM Comments comments (240)
It happened on a cold snowy night 5 years ago today. I held your hand one last time,I kissed your cheek and I brushed your hair back as you told me it was almost time for you to go.
I was so scared and hurt and felt all alone. I knew I had to let you go and I knew then just as I know now that, that was the most hardest thing for me to do was tell you goodbye. You were only 16.... You experienced more pain and suffering than any child your age should.
you did put up o...ne hell of a fight son. You were so brave... Even at the end. You made me promise you that we would continue to help kids and families who are going through the same thing we went through. You made me promise that we would send kids with NF to the very camp you looked forward to each year.
well son it's been a long tough 5 years but we are still helping kids and there families and we are still sending kids to camp NewFriends every summer just like I promised.
The Foundation had come along way in the last 5 years. We are continuing to grow and maybe one day we will be able to reach out to more and more families and one day everyone will know what NF stands for and they will know what Dino Doozer stands for and who he stands behind.
5 years ago today your body was taken away from me but you will always be in my heart . And because of you and your hopes and dreams of helping others you have given me a reason to get up everyday and keep my promise.
I love you and miss you everyday son.
Love always and forever
your mom

Remembering you at Christmas

Posted on December 1, 2014 at 3:20 PM Comments comments (158)
     As the Christmas Season draws near my heart begins to hurt just a little more with each passing day. This year will mark Sherod's 5th year in Heaven. You know that old saying that "time heals all wounds"... well I can tell you that this wound will never be healed, but I have been learning to deal with the loss one day at a time.

   I know there is a lot of other parents who will have a hard time this Christmas Season as they are missing there loved one(s) as well. So please take a minute and give then a HUG for Christmas and let them know that you are thinking of them and there loved one that is no longer with them. A hug is one of the best gifts you can give a grieving parent.

   Sherod I miss you every day son. I know you are watching over all of us and every time it  starts to snow I know it's you sending me kisses from Heaven.


 

Saying Goodbye

Posted on December 29, 2012 at 11:48 AM Comments comments (357)
3 Years ago today I watched my son take his last breath. Since then my life has never been the same. This day will always remind me of that day for as long as I live. Telling my son I love him and saying good bye was not what a mother is suppose to do, but that is what happened on this Dec. 29, 2009.
The last 3 years have been very hard for me, my kids and our family. I have been running from my sons death all this time. Hoping I will wake up and it will all be a bad dream, but every day I wake and he is still not here. I've kept myself busy....so busy at times I forget what I'm suppose to do next.
I've recently stopped running and have asked God to please help me get through this as I need his strength every day to help me keep going.
I know I'm not the only mother in the world who has lost a child but it does feel like i'm the the only one at times. Holidays are rough for me as I'm sure it is rough for the rest of the families I dea
l with on a day to day basis. My son has asked me to continue to help families just like us. I have to admit it is very hard at times because you know what they are about to go through and you wish you could take that pain away. I find myself at a loss for words at times when a mother calls me to tell me her child has passed. I to don't really know what to say except....I'm sorry.
I know it has been 3 years, but it seams just like yesterday that I was holding my sons hand telling him we will be OK. I remember him telling me it was time for him to go and he didn't want me to be sad. How in the hell do you tell your own child it's ok for him to go.....how to do get up each day after that? I really don't know how I do it. I just do it. It's hard....so hard it hurts. But each day I put a smile on my face and most of you wouldn't even know I woke up this morning crying my eyes out...missing my son. Most of you wouldn't know that I only sleep a few hours a day because I'm afraid of that reoccurring dream of my sons last day.
They say times heals all....Im here to tell you time is just time and it doesn't heal. Time is just a clock on the wall that tells you what everyone else is doing. Time tells you when to get up, go to bed and when to eat. Time is never ending for a mother missing her son.
I miss you each and every day Sherod. I love you
Love always and forever your mom

A Mothers Cry

Posted on December 27, 2012 at 8:55 AM Comments comments (1362)
  
 
    Dec. 29, 2009 is a day I will never forget. As that day approaches my heart begins to ache harder with each passing minute. To relive that last day with you is not something I can easily share with anyone. It's hard to believe you will be gone for 3 years.....the pain I feel is still so new and heart breaking.  I often wonder if the pain will ever go away and if it does what is going to happen to me then?
    I miss you Sherod and everything about you. Please for the love of God send me a sign from Heaven above that you can hear me cry out your name. I can't feel you you, hold you or hear your voice....please just let me know you are here with me. I know I tell myself you are here with me but I long to hold you son. I want to hold you and tell you that I'm sorry it was you that had to get sick. I want God to give me a chance to make things better for you then maybe he wouldn't take you from me. I want to come home from work and find you waiting for me....I need something ....I need to feel the comforts of my son.
    
     Dear Heavenly Father....
                 I do not fully understand the reasoning for you taking my son. I know good has come out of his passing because I chose not  to just let my son be another victim of Cancer. In his dieing days he talked of an Angel.... A red headed Angel and he said you sent for him and he could see her and he could talk to her. If you can send an Angel to talk to my son and put comfort in his heart and mind can you please let me see my Angel. For it has been 3 years since you have taken him. It has been a long hard 3 years and I fight each day to get up knowing I will not see him nor will I hold him or hear his voice. I can only see him in pictures.
         Please God Please hear the cries of a mother and give me this one wish....Please send my Angel home his mommy misses him.
   

writing down my feelings

Posted on November 15, 2012 at 10:41 AM Comments comments (61)
Dear Sherod,
     These past few weeks have been very hard for me. Your baby sister turned 16, we are finally done moving into the new house and things are starting to settle down for me after almost 3 years of running. I am facing your passing after all this time. I have found I can not run anymore....I have no where else to run but through this emotion I call Hell.
   Sometime during the last few weeks of Sept. I got several notices about some of the kids that had past on that we have connected with over the Internet/face book ect. It seemed like every other day I was hearing the news of one more child that earned there wings. My heart was breaking more and more and reminding me of the last day we had with you. I just kept crying and praying for all those families and thinking Please God Be with them in there time of need.
  Loosing you at the age of 16 was hard. Then your baby sister turned 16......my heart just sank. I think I was afraid of her to turn 16....thinking how much longer would I have her. Although she is perfectly healthy that number just scares me.
  Then with your older brother being gone and off into the Military. Although very proud of your brother I am afraid of loosing him as well. I keep praying he will not have to go off to War.
  So now that I have just spilled my heart out about all that is bothering me I feel a little bit better. I have to say this writing your emotions downs does work.
 
    On another note I know you would be so proud to hear that more families are hearing about us and contacting us for help. You have truelly blessed me with a gift to keep on giving and helping others. It 's funny how things work out even in the worst of situations.
 
   I love you Sherod and miss you like crazy everyday.
 
   Love,
  Mom

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHEROD!

Posted on September 7, 2012 at 10:48 AM Comments comments (60)
19yrs ago today I gave birth to a baby boy named Sherod Don Nichols.  16 years later he lost his life to Cancer.
   
 
           HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHEROD!
 
   I knew the minute he was born he would change my life forever...I just didn't know how.
   At the age of 14 he started his battle with Cancer. At the age of 15 he wanted to make a difference in peoples lives so he started a Foundation. At 16 he lost his life to Cancer, but not his will to fight. He continues to fight through all of us that Support the Dino Doozer Foundation. He continues to make a difference in this world each and every day.
   Through the Dino Doozer Foundation he continues to help others. He may have left this world but he did not leave our hearts.
 
         He is my son Sherod Don Nichols....He is my Hero
 
 
 I love you and miss you every day. Happy Birthday son and Thank You for making me the person I am today.
 
     Love always and forever
                    Mom

Your Graduation Year 2012

Posted on June 8, 2012 at 10:41 AM Comments comments (73)
Dear Sherod,
  This would have been your year to GRADUATE HIGH SCHOOL. As I get my things together to help other parents with there childes Graduation Party I can't help but feel left out. My heart breaks every time. I am very happy for those parents, but at the same time why can't I have you here with me so we can feel the same joy.
  The R.A. Long Senior Class will be honoring you this Sat. at Graduation. They will have a mini Dino Doozer sitting in your seat and the Class President Jordy Mertz and Dani Eggleston will be speaking on your behalf. I am happy to say the Class of 2012 never forgot you son, and I don't think they ever will.
 Even though I will not get to see you walking to get your Diploma I will still attend the Graduation Ceremony. I know you will be there in spirit as your Class Graduates.
 This is just another hill for me to climb over and I have to say this is a hard one.
   No one said Child loss was easy and I doubt they ever will.
 
I love you son and I am very proud of the fact that you made such a good impact on your Graduating Class.