I went for a walk around the lake this last Sunday and it was snowing. It was the most spiritual walk I have been on in a while. The snow reminded me of your last night with us...it was snowing like crazy Dec. 29, 2009.  Every time it snows I think its you telling me hello and as the flakes fall from the sky and land on my face I imagine its you giving me angel kisses from heaven.

 I miss you like crazy Sherod and lately my days feel like they are dragging on forever. The past few days it has been getting harder and harder for me to get out of bed. A big part of me just wants to hide under the covers and never come out, but I can't. I've made a promise to you and I will keep that promise forever. 

  On another note the 2nd Annual Masquerade Ball was a great success! So many people came out to Support us and when I showed them the video of you and all the kids at Camp....well I really think people are starting to understand what we are all about and how much you want to help kids.

 

 

   I know the snow will stop coming for a while because spring is here, but until it returns I will  remember last Sunday as the day we walked lake together and I will wait for that first snow fall so we can walk the lake once again.  

  I miss you Sherod and I can't wait for the day I finally get to hold you in my arms again .

                   I Love you Son

Love always and forever,

             Your mom

No one said missing you was going to be easy, but my day to day living activities becoming harder for me to deal with now than they did when you were here.

   Everything reminds me of you and there are still days I want to crawl in your bed and snuggle with you, but your bed is not there and neither are you. I can't even explain the pain I feel at that time. It goes away for a short period but it comes back from time to time.

  Oh buddy Mommy misses you so much it hurts and I wish I could hold you right now.

  This year will mark the 2nd year without you here for Thanksgiving. It's still just as hard not being able to see your smiling face or seeing you out of the corner of my eye sneeking into the olives to put them on all your fingers.

  I remember are last Thanksgiving together. Everyone was with us up at Nana's house and you asked if you could give the Thanksgiving prayer. You did such a wonderful job. I remember you tried so hard to stay up and visit with everyone. I knew you were hurting and were so very tired and just wanted to rest, but you kept pushing on. As I think you knew this was going to be your last Thanksgiving with your Family and Friends.

   Andrew and Lizzy are growning up so fast and I know they miss you too especially around this time of year. I hear them talk about how you all use to play and laugh and make each other mad like brothers and sisters do. I know they are Thankfull for having you for a brother even if was for a short time as am I just as Thankfull to have been able to call you my son.

 

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING SHEROD AND RAY WE LOVE AND MISS YOU VERY MUCH.

                                     LOVE,

                                        MOM

I thought about you again last night...I think about you every night, but last night was different. I could see you in your bed as if you were right in front of me again on your last day here. Moments before you took your last breath.

  We all came in in small groups of two to say our good byes to you and you waited so patiently for your Father and your Gramma Judy and Grampa Sherod to get there to tell them good bye. When they came in the room Chris and I got up and let them come in...I shut the door behind me and moments later your Gramma Judy came back out to get me to tell me you were gone.

   I ran back in there to hold you one last time and kissed your face. Holding you close never wanting to let go.

 

  I relive that same moment from time to time. I don't know why but I do. On those nights when I finally close my eyes I pray I will see you and Ray walking around playing, but I see nothing. Even though I can't see you Sherod I feel a warmth come over me and I pray it is you telling me everything is ok.

  You know that Ol saying  " Time Heals all" I don't think time heals anything, I just think it makes it easier to deal with, but the wound is this there.

 

  I still love you and miss you just as much today as I did the first day I held you my son and the last day I kissed you good bye.